Princes of the Universe - Book 1: Spades
by PocketHero
Summary: I am not a Queen. Born on the streets, live on the streets die on the streets. Any old scum like me. Even from my birth as an unlikely product of rape; which has caused love to be repelled from my very being. Unwanted. Indecently inimitable. And apparently irresistible... USUK - Hetalia!Cardverse - [Rated M for implied rape] A romantic story of US and UK :) Enjoy POTU - Spades :)
1. Spades - Part 1

_Hetalia!Cardverse: Arthur(England)xAlfred(America), USUK fluff (for now).  
[RATED M for implied rape]_

_Human names used :)_

_!ENJOY!_

* * *

**Princes of The Universe**

**:Book 1 – **_**Spades:**_

I am not a Queen.

Despite what the whole kingdom says about me.

I am not a Queen.

Despite what the whole world says about me.

I am not a Queen.

Despite what Alfred says about me.

I am not a god damn Queen.

I am Arthur. Born on the streets, live on the streets die on the streets. Just as any old scum would right. Any old scum like me. Even from my birth as an unlikely product of rape; which from the start had condemned me from the bulk of society, has caused love to be repelled from my very being. Unwanted. Indecently inimitable. And apparently _irresistible_.

They picked me up like a child would pick up a stray dog. By the neck, With looped rope. Looped rope… looped rope. I stole an apple to feed my mother… forced into prostitution to feed ME. She said it was fine… she was dead inside anyway. How wonderful that her own child could not bring her joy... perhaps it was because I was a grotesque reminder of her unsolicited exploitation. I was a disease to her.

I stole that fruit to feed the woman that hated me. And when I was brought to her by the guards; when I begged on my knees for her to bail me. She turned away. That witch turned away and denied ever having known me.

I was eight. She was twenty four. She sent me to my death.

Back then it was a common thing to watch an execution. In fact it was a weekly activity to go along with your family and watch the lawless lose their heads. The King and Queen assisted by their sons and their caretaker; an oriental man. They would step out on their balcony above the ruckus of the streets and watch the action from above; like God's and Goddess' in high heaven. I had always been inspired by the eloquence of their deep blue garments; it reminded me of the rivers and oceans, which I had been told about by beggars searching for alms when mother was out 'working'.

That frosty Sunday morning remains so freshly preserved in my mind; I can still smell the roasting chestnuts in the air, which they sold to bystanders and viewers of the event. I can still feel the muddy snow clawing at my cheeks and filthy toes. I can still hear the jeering and the yelling and the laughter… the laughter of children and adults alike. If they had known how it feels… how it is to feel numb. With no trace emotion to suffice for your own death. By God, they would not be laughing their ignorant laughs. I can still remember waiting in line behind innocents, murderers and rapists. I peered down the line to watch the vagabond I had spoken to not only days before this day… step into the looped rope. That looped rope. And fall. His neck snapped beneath gravity's crushing grasp. He dangled like a lifeless puppet for a few seconds… before the building crowed hollered. Fists and hats flew up in elation. It was… it was utterly…

Revolting.

Is this what we are? Bloodthirsty creatures lusting for death and gore. Making merry as the blood of our kind stains our hands a deeper and deeper shade of red. Not like the colour of the King and Queen. They didn't jeer or yell. They didn't call out in delight as a life was taken. They sat on their thrones and remained unfazed. But that was the most repulsive. It sickened me to the core of my very soul. They did NOTHING. But we can't complain. I can't complain. The people are happy… at least… the visible part of the population is happy. Not like me. Not like the street rats and beggars who hid in the shadows of the alleys as the royal guards would march past searching for next Sunday's performers.

But when I was called for the rope. I found some peace in the colour blue. The sound of running water; fresh water from a river, not urine from a drunkard stumbling out onto the street at midnight. Crisp clean water fresh from the mountains; as I have heard that is where it comes from. There is some strange serenity in the colour blue. I peered up at the royals that day as I was ushered up the stairs to my unfair judgement… in the form of a looped…rope. I caught the eye of the Prince. Well…one of them. The troublesome one with eyes as blue as his robes. There is some strange serenity in his eyes… something which melted the frost around my deadened heart.

Then they came. The tears flowed like the river I longed for. I was stunned. The water was trickling from my eyes and warming my white skin. There was blue everywhere. So they wrapped the rope around my neck, it's burning soothed by my personal river. The looped rope which bound me. The Prince turned to his little brother who was shielding his eyes with his small bear animal. A present from his parents… it was new son the streets. The Prince frowned at me with something else in his eyes… a feeling which I am well acquainted with: Sorrow. The man dressed in black who put the rope around my neck tightened it so I could not swallow my building river. The looped rope was constricting me. The Prince started yelling. Why? He was yelling at his parents and leaning over the balcony at the audience. Why was he yelling.

"STOP!" He screamed for the last time as he drew his dagger from his sheath and raised it to the sky. The audience turned to the boy and knelt. Raising a blade is the only way to gain order when you are a royal. When you raise a blade, those surrounding are drawn to you like a moth to a candle. All was silent. The Prince whispered something to the King who looked furious at his child. They had a small heated conversation between themselves before the King raised his hand to the man in black. The Prince disappeared.

Warmth tingled in my bound hands. The looped rope was defeated, shredded into pieces by an angel in azure. He held MY hand. He smiled at ME. He turned to the audience of flabbergasted fools and raised my hand in his. My filth in his soft scented skin, "I free this boy, for he is innocent!" He frowned on the crowd, "I pity all those who condemned him, abused him and showed no mercy to him! For Beelzebub has a devil put aside for them… wallow in your guilt and self-pity… for after this day none shall be shown unto you!" he sneered and spat into the mud. He lowered his hand. The Prince turned to me. He smiled with the blue eyes that saved me. Holding my hand; which grew warmer by the second, he escorted me off the guillotine stage and through the crowd of onlookers who shared sneers of disgust and frowns of seething hatred, "what's your name kid?" he threw a smile over his shoulder. I stammered before answering.

"Arthur… my name's Arthur" the sound of my name sounded so weird slipping past my lips. I had not heard it in so long. Others had called me rat, scum or boy… but never Arthur. I had almost forgotten.

"Arthur! Nice name!" He pulled me inside the castle doors which separated the royals from reality. I looked back through the doors and watched as the splotches of dirtied faces disappeared through the withering crack, "you'll be living with me from now on, kay?" the Prince who was so well spoken was now speaking like one of the normal children. What happened after he entered these cold stone walls I had wondered. He turned to face me and broke into a huge grin, "I'm Alfred by the way! I can already tell we're going to be the bestest friends ever!"

Yes I had laughed and played along with his game for a while. We were indeed the bestest of friends. We had spent afternoons exploring the castle which seemed to continually expand. Hand in hand, he taught me the way of the Spade's and the life of the blue cloth. I got to know his family. Matthew his little brother was very quiet; but we liked to talk to each other when Alfred was with his teachers learning more about being King… he was the eldest and it would happen when the King died. But that was a long time away from now. The caretaker of the Princes Wang Yao was also the Jack of Spades. I couldn't understand some of the things he said… he was from far over the sea he said. Yao told us stories of his homeland; of dragons and strange creatures, he would tuck us in at night, and let all three of us sleep in his bed when we had nightmares. Life had never tasted sweeter under the watchful eye of Alfred Jones and his family.

Or so it seemed.

My life began to anchor to the bottom of the ocean of despair harder and faster than I had imagined. The long forgotten numbness of my heart returned for more.

When I turned twelve… the King of Spades summoned me to his chamber to talk of Alfred's future. It was an emergency. It was very late at night. It was a trap.

After that night, the King summoned me to his chambers late at night once every week. He had ordered me to not to tell. He had ordered me to submit before the King and follow his orders loyally as a member of his court. He ordered me to remove my clothes and humiliate myself in my vulnerability in front of him… while he pleasured himself with this sick sadistic fetish. I was twelve. Then I was thirteen. Then I was fourteen. Each year it grew even more lewd. At first it was only losing my clothes. Then it was losing my virginity. Then it was losing my pride. It became more frequent too. It was always the same. He raised his blade and ordered me to kneel… as that was the law of the court. He used his own laws and morals of the kingdom against me. He would cut me if I made a sound. He would dig the metal beneath my abdomen and chuckle quietly as the blood would stain his sheets.

I was fifteen. I was thin. I was white. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. Alfred and Matthew were so concerned. I told them I was just sick and it was just a phase. I refused to see doctors. I refused to undress in front of anyone but myself… and the King. I didn't cry. I didn't shed a God damn tear. I was numb. So deeply submerged in despair that emotion was foreign.

"You are a street rat. Filth of the gutter… and you will submit under my power" he would say repeatedly. So I started to believe it.

Alfred burst into the King's chambers one night because he felt like Wang Yao needed a raise in payment. He was horrified with what he saw. Alfred froze against the image of his Father; the King, raping his best friend. His best friend who was emotionless and covered in bruises. I was like a broken doll to Alfred in this image.

The King was slaughtered after that. His chambers were burnt. Alfred cried over me after the Guards dragged the King away to the dungeons that night. He collapsed into his knees and crawled over to my limp body draped over the mattress. Alfred buried his blue eyes into my scarred chest and covered me in a thousand blue tears. Mumbling words of comfort and soothing phrases. And once again… my personal blue river was sparked by the blue Prince. He swore to protect me from any evil that threatened me. From that day forward.

I didn't sleep alone again. Every night I would sleep with Prince Alfred. I never had another nightmare again. Ever.

I am nineteen. He is nineteen.

A new King has been chosen. Alfred F. Jones King of Spades. He is the kindest most charming King there ever was. The people love him for his generosity and justness. Although he is King he would never be like his father… he is Alfred Jones… he will always be Alfred F. Jones to me. My angel in azure. The eight year old boy who spared my life and showered me with love and affection since we were children. Treated me as an equal, not as scum.

"Alfred cannot be King of Spades without a Queen… it is against the laws of the Kingdom" Matthew said once. We were walking in the royal gardens yesterday evening. Everything was blue… that blessed hue. I'm not sure what I had felt when he said that… it was a conflict for all that I was brought up with, "if we can't find him a Queen he can't be King… he will be making his decision tomorrow Arthur" Matthew picked the petals of a blue rose as he spoke, "I heard he will be choosing the Princess of Diamonds… Michelle – she was brought up by King Francis I believe…I'm not too sure" That feeling of despair was light… but this was a different feeling. Jealousy? No. It couldn't be.

It was strange for me at first. Because all I had known in my life was Alfred and his kin. I didn't know what I would do if he was occupied with a Queen. I felt lost. Like a child all over again. That night when Alfred slipped into bed opposite me last night I could sense his blue eyes burning into my turned back. Although he knew what was wrong. He knew what the problem was… If there really was a problem, "what's wrong Arthur?" he whispered. I felt a hand on my shoulder. His voice was gentle… warming my chest like not mulled wine on a winter day. I didn't reply. I didn't have anything to say. He squeezed my shoulder and took away his hand, "I'm deciding on my Queen tomorrow morning… y'know" he sighed and rolled onto his back, "it's scary… tomorrow I'll be King and…and everyone will look to me. A whole Kingdom will count on me" he exhaled sharply. As did I. Ignoring him was foolish of me… and the guilt was already pooling in my stomach.

"You…" I muttered over my shoulder, catching his attention instantly, "…you will make a great King… and Michelle would be a wise choice for a Queen" I felt the weight on the bed shift and he prepared to jump in, "Matthew told me earlier of your plans to partner with the Princess of Diamonds… it's okay" I rolled over onto my other side to face the wide-eyed blue Prince, "there is no need to explain yourself" then I tried something I had never tried before in my life.

The corners of my mouth twitched. Alfred watched me with wide-eyes. I; Arthur Kirkland, smiled for the first time in nineteen years. Alfred smiled with me. He laughed and covered his face with his hands. Because… out of curiosity… I think I saw him blush.

The morning came. The court was silenced as Alfred raised a single hand. The raising a blade law was abolished after my molestation by the previous King… it was abolished by Alfred… for me. I sat at Alfred's left hand whereas Matthew sat on Alfred's right. It felt ever so slightly wrong to be sitting up with royalty when I was originally a rat. Alfred said I was part of the family and I was obliged to sit beside him and Matthew. To me it felt like a flea-bitten dog sharing a bench with a pair of well-groomed cats.

The court hushed as the coronation proceeded. Alfred had yet to announce his partnership with the Princess of Diamonds. In fact, I had not heard anything of her arrival that day. I saw her wandering the palace yesterday afternoon but that was the most I saw.

Alfred stood. The crown sitting snugly among his golden locks of hair; which Matthew and I had plaited many times before. He cleared his throat, "now… many have queried as to who my Queen shall be... and it has not been a tough decision in the slightest might I add. Perhaps it must has been one of the decisions in my life that I have had most ease with…" I was numb. I looked around for Michelle, attempting not to show any signs of nervousness. I saw her. Her face peeped out in the crowd of onlookers. Alfred's words were becoming a blur in the base of my skull. Thus I braced myself for the cool wash on emotionless tingles I had experienced before, "my Queen ladies and gentlemen!" Everyone rose from their seats and clapped. I too rose from my seat and clapped in the direction of Michelle. Why wasn't she moving. I became more aware of my surroundings.

The pink splotches of faces were furrowing their eyebrows in confusion and most were whispering into their neighbour's ear. I turned to Alfred. Who knelt before me. Matthew too. Wang Yao also. The whole court lowered their gaze.

Alfred looks up at me. I catch the eye of the King. The troublesome King with eyes as blue as his robes. There is some strange serenity in his eyes… something which melts the frost around my deadened heart, "long live Queen Arthur" he whispers to me. He reaches for my hand… now softly scented. He presses his lips to my hand ardently with eloquence. Never breaking his gaze. I am speechless.

I am not a Queen.

Despite what the whole kingdom says about me.

I am not a Queen.

Despite what the whole world says about me.

I am not a Queen.

Despite what Alfred says about me.

I am not a god damn Queen.

I am Arthur. Born on the streets, live on the streets die on the streets. Just as any old scum would right. Any old scum like me. Even from my birth as an unlikely product of rape; which from the start had condemned me from the bulk of society, has caused love to be repelled from my very being. Unwanted. Indecently inimitable. And apparently _irresistible._

_And this is just the beginning…_


	2. Spades - Part 2

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 1 – **_**Spades:**_

**_-Part 2-_**

Like I had said previously "to me it feels like a flea-bitten dog sharing a bench with a pair of well-groomed cats", I don't believe in this anymore. It was the largest understatement I had ever made. Which is saying something. I am more like a putrefying corpse next to a new born baby. A slice of rotting cheese hidden in a succulent banquet. A murderer, rapist and heretic shaking hands with the Pope.

It had been only a few hours after Alfred had announced me as his Queen. Which was painfully awkward in so many ways it was not even a joke. I had seen Matthew cringing slightly for me when my face turned the deepest hue of red one could ever witness. A deeper crimson than the King of Hearts' cloth. Red. That ghastly colour. The colour of blood and lust… the two things I dreaded most.

By God Alfred is the biggest dork if there ever was one. He smiles in the most inappropriate of situations.

For once in my life I had come across a rather peculiar situation. Usually it had been so clear whether I was in pain, sorrowful or numb. But I had never been filled with so many feelings at once it baffled me foolish. It came as an almost tearing sensation. A full palette of white hot rage with a dash of endearment, a dollop of embarrassment and a whole cup of confusion. Creates one colossal complete and utter mess of a man. MAN. Not woman. MAN.

Queens are generally female for Christ's sake! If Alfred chose me as his Queen what does that make me? A feminine fellow who appears as a consecutive transvestite, with little muscle mass, a whole lot of sensitivity and problematic behaviour. Oh no. If Alfred expected me to act like his woman and play lovely lady of Spades, he had another thing coming to him! There is no way on earth I would willingly wear a dress in public. Actually… there is no way I would ever wear a dress to begin with.

I was infuriated. Spilling with resentment and hatred. And yet… there was a tiny little fragile part of me I hadn't felt before. It tucked itself away in the corner of my existence until recently. A small smug voice kept whispering to me, "Yess!" and throwing small bursts of excitement. But of course I pinged it away as soon as it appeared.

The ceremony and post-coronation banquet seemed to drag on for hours and hours past its finish time. I had sat at the head of the table with Alfred who was laughing. He was laughing that idiotic, oblivious laugh which resonated throughout the hall like an annoying echo which kept repeating itself for ages after it was set off. It goes on. And on. And on. Until you finally snap.

Matthew could see it coming. Matthew had his eyes on me the whole day, watching…waiting for a word… a mumble…anything. His amethyst eyes begging for some form of communication, "A-Arthur…" he whispered into my ear at the dinner table. Attempting not to get the sharp attention of his brother, "are you… okay?" I finished chewing the same piece of beef I had been working on for over twenty minutes to keep me from grinding my teeth against each other. I swallowed and restrainedly placed my fork onto the table as gently as I possibly could. Which apparently wasn't very gentle at all. My glass had tipped over due to the force and red wine had spilled across the table and dripped down my clothes. As if the night couldn't get any worse.

Of course… of course it could.

The wine dripped through my waistcoat and trousers. Like blood. The thick red liquid oozed all over my hands. Staining my skin, seeping into every available line and contour of my palms. Red. The colour red. That colour I had come to fear so greatly I would become immensely alarmed at the very sight. It trickled over the table cloth, consuming all pristine fabric in its path. I was frozen in my seat. Unwanted memories emerged from the shadows of my mind and grasped me.

"**You are a street rat. Filth of the gutter… and you will submit under my power"**

**He would dig the metal beneath my abdomen and chuckle quietly as the blood would stain his sheets.**

**A looped rope stared down at me. My unfair judgement only a few feet far.**

The forgotten memoirs dug their nails into the delicate flesh of my mind and laugh as I trembled in my seat. Matthew stared at me in anxiety as I was glued to my seat in unease. Breaking down as acid corrodes chalk, "A-Alfred!" Matthew looked up to his brother who only very recently noticed the growing situation on the table. Alfred registered the spill. Then the wine. Then the colour. Then he registered me. My hands clutching the arms of the chair I sat in so tightly my hands were turning white. My chest began to heave as I started breathing short quick broken breaths. His eyes-widened in fear. Taking immediate action he brushed the glass off the table and folded up the fabric so the spill was not visible to me, "Christ!" he saw the red covering my clothes.

My rigid neck craned down so I could see what he was grimacing at. It leapt at me. The red leapt out at me as soon as I grazed over the hue. I yelled and shot out of my seat scrabbling at my waist coat with a feeble effort, "Agh!" my heart began to work overtime and all became blurred, "no… I'm not a rat! I-I'm not… I didn't take it… don't touch me…don't…I-I…" all I remember is that Alfred was coming at me with his strong arms extended towards me as my world plunged into darkness.

How womanly… fainting due to a spillage on my own clothes. Perhaps the title of Queen was rather fitting after all.

I felt warmth surround me like water. It submerged me with a soothing caress. It was calming to me and I felt myself floating loosely. Extending my arms and legs outwards to feel more of the warmth, my right arm nudged something soft. It then occurred to me that I was not surrounded by water…but by a warm blue fabric. I opened my heavy eyes further I could see the blurred outlines of my bedroom. How I got there I had no idea. But when I moved my right arm once more into the thing I felt before I realised.

Alfred. I looked at him. Face buried into the mattress of the bed, kneeling down beside me… idiot. Oh Alfred. He looked so…so… pensive. His eyebrows were drawn together slightly. His glasses had slipped off the bridge of his nose and onto the mattress. The soft blonde hair falling delicately over his forehead. But then again I felt a memory resurfacing.

**He collapsed into his knees and crawled over to my limp body draped over the mattress. Alfred buried his blue eyes into my scarred chest and covered me in a thousand blue tears. Mumbling words of comfort and soothing phrases.**

I shot up out of bed and scrambled to pull all the covers over my head, "Agh!" I covered myself in the blue fabric and supressed the memory with the serenity of the colour blue. My head began to feel dizzy again and my stomach felt nauseous… probably from leaping up to fast.

"Arthur?" Alfred spoke drowsily. I squeezed my eyes closed.

"I'm fine… I swear! You can go n-now…" my speech slurred as the nausea began to grow in my stomach and head, "ugh…" light spilled into my protective cocoon. Alfred folded the bed sheets off my face and he smiled affectionately at my paling complexion.

"No Arthur. I refuse to leave you" I fell back into the pillows as Alfred guided me with his big strong hands cradling my head, "you are dazed… you've got to rest" he ran a hand over my cheek. What is this? Why was he acting so gentle. It was then I reacquainted myself with my fury of being named Queen. Without getting up; I grasped Alfred by the bulb of his tie on his collar and wrapped it around my knuckles. I pulled him face to face with myself and snarled into his wide blue eyes.

"Why on earth did you choose ME as Queen Alfred! Are you trying to mock me!? Is this a joke? Long live Queen Arthur!? What on earth! What about Michelle! What about the kingdom of Diamonds!? What are they going to think! What is YOUR kingdom going to think! What is-"

"I love you Arthur!" Alfred blurted quickly. Never before had I heard these words… perhaps between drunkards on the streets when I was a child; but they were fooling around. Never before has anyone uttered these words to me DIRECTLY. No one has ever loved me. Not like this.

"P-pardon?" my nausea ceased. But my stomach tied itself into many knots and my grip loosened on his collar. He balanced himself over my frail body on his elbows. Pink dusted his cheeks like sugar icing. His eyes perforated mine without fear. I know what he felt… he made a decision and when he makes a decision on something he never goes back; Alfred is very childish in that way, so persistent.

"I… I love you… Arthur" it was silent. The words echoed in my skull. Bouncing around like a rubber ball in a dome. Until the came to rest at the bottom and sink into my soul, "I always loved you… I realised. From the beginning Arthur. Do you remember when we first met? I know you do… I was watching the weekly execution with my family. Matthew pointed you out to me… because you were the only child being executed that day. Matthew had never seen a child punished like that before, he thought it was wrong. I watched you from the balcony. You were so small…" Alfred subconsciously wrapped his long fingers around my wrist; as if he were comparing my size now, "so fragile…and yet you showed no fear of dying. You weren't even scared. Then you looked up at me. And I saw those… amazing… green eyes" he looked up into my eyes, "and instantly I was dumbfounded by this feeling, here in my chest. I felt strangely…calm and tranquil all of a sudden. Then you began to cry… you began to cry…" he gritted he teeth and averted his gaze from mine. His voice became more hoarse, "and I didn't like it" he looked up. I was startled. Alfred was crying blue tears, "I hated it. No one should make you cry Arthur, got it? No one! So I turned to my brother and asked him if he knew him. He said no. So I panicked and started yelling when I saw that ro-…you were close to leaving me. I wouldn't stop yelling until they heard me… Arthur. I have only recently come to understand my feelings for you are so much more powerful than I could ever handle," he released my wrist and brushed a thumb over my warming cheeks, "now I know you… I can safely say you are smart, courageous, kind, funny in a weird sort of way… and so god damn handsome… everything I dreamed of in a Queen" I blabbed utter nonsense. The words did not come out of my mouth correctly, "Matthew told you about Michelle potentially being my Queen because I wanted to surprise you a little… turns out it happened a little more drastically than I hoped" out of the corner of my eye I could see Matthew enter the bedroom quietly. He appeared to be a little embarrassed when he saw Alfred over me. He silently breezed out of the room, "but Arthur… please… be my Queen of Spades… be there beside me through right and wrong, through thick and thin… I promise to protect you for as long as I live…" his eyebrows drew together again, "please Arthur Kirkland. Please"

Never before have I experienced this kind of situation. The boy I have regarded as a best friend or even brother was lying above me after I had recently fainted. He is the newly appointed King of Spades and he is pleading for me… a reformed street rat, to be his Queen.

"Until…" I muttered after moments of consideration, "until death… do us part" Alfred collapsed his full weight on top of me and crushed me into a bone-breaking hug. Because he knew for a fact I was afraid of any sexual physical contact such as kissing. It terrified me.

It turns out… in these types of monarchy. The Queen's job is NOT to produce young Princes and Princesses to success the throne. It is in fact a political term. The King; Alfred, manages the troops, military and is the most powerful person in the whole kingdom; anything he says goes. The Queen; myself…Arthur, also manages the troops and also controls it… which means, when there is a war or battle, I have to lead the armies myself. Unless the King decides to go in my stead. It turns out Wang Yao; the Jack of Spades, is in charge of solving economic issues throughout the kingdom. The previous King ordered him only to take care of the children though… that is why there were so many poor, because no one was solving the issues. When I understood more about my given role… I felt a little less angry.

"We gather here today to celebrate the joining of souls and the pledge of loyalty between King…and Queen. Devotion to one another in the eyes of God…" the priest read monotonously from a small crusty bible in his wizened little hands. I had wondered if this priest; in his apparent long life, had held a matrimonial ceremony for two men. When I was a child I had heard about men in jail… who loved one another because there were no women present. But I am very sure that it would not be the same as this. I did not pay any attention to the priest's words tumbling out of his mouth like a broken record player repeating the same thing over and over again. I found there was something a lot more interesting.

I found some peace in the colour blue. The sound of running water; fresh water from a river, not urine from a drunkard stumbling out onto the street at midnight. Crisp clean water fresh from the mountains; as I have heard that is where it comes from. There is some strange serenity in the colour blue. I have said this before… but I found something more in the colour blue. I found eternal happiness. I can find it any time when I look at the King. The troublesome King with eyes as blue as his robes. There is some strange serenity in his eyes and an incredible emanating rapture. My angel in azure, "I do…"

"I do…" wait a moment… I know what comes next.

"You may kiss the…uh…Queen" the priest chuckled heartily at his confusion. Kiss. Alfred and I had not kissed before this moment… I was always too scared… too scared that it would resurface memories of my molestation. This was Alfred. Not his father. I would be brave for him… I would do anything for him. Alfred warily leant closer to me searching for permission. Hah. How sweet of him… he was always sweet. I closed the decreasing gap between us. Something let go in Alfred that moment… a sigh of relief in both of us. It was nothing like I had imagined it would be… it felt like all the happiness in the world rushed to my chest and glittered under my skin. It felt like one million fire crackers were set off at the same time and exploded their miasmic spectrum of colours in my head. His lips tasted of cool peppermint and coffee… a winters morning defined in the lips of my once supressed lover. Underneath the applauding audience and the chamber orchestra Alfred released my lips and whispered…

"Are you okay Arthur?" I shut that fool up with another peppermint peck on the lips.

Usually on the night of the wedding… the bride and groom would engage in some form osculation. I was nervous to be honest… I wanted to give Alfred the best night of his life… but I didn't want to ruin it with my pesky memories. Both of us stood on opposite sides of the bed that night… looking down at the mattress. My palms were sweaty and hot from apprehension while Alfred had his dug deep into his pockets. The mattress was untouched. Crisp fabric pulled tightly over the soft cushion. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes as we stared at the bed… awkward tension began to grow in the air like moss on stagnant water. I ran my hand through my hair and stammered, "I…uh… if you-"

"We're… not Arthur…" Alfred sighed tenderly. He looked up at me, "not tonight…" he smiled and began to remove his tie. I felt guilty, "I'd rather not… I want to spend a night nestled in the presence of royalty…" he bowed teasingly, "Arthur J. Kirkland… Queen of Spades" I rolled my eyes and kicked off my shoes before falling backwards into the comfort of the cool sheets. There is nothing like a well-done freshly-made bed.

"Don't be such an arse Alfred K. Jones… King of Spades" Alfred chuckled and hung his head over mine as he knelt on the bed.

"Should have thought about that before you married me" he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"That's WHY I agreed to marry you, you dork" I held his cheek in my hand… as he had done to me before.

Thus began my reign as Arthur J. Kirkland; Queen of Spades. With my implausible husband Alfred K. Jones; King of Spades.

_Until death do us part… that haunting phrase._


	3. Spades - Part 3

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 1 – **_**Spades:**_

_**-Part 3-**_

"**Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."** A man once said… which leads me to remember … "**Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." **And so it tumbles until I remember this one too **"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you."** Which makes me wonder… who is the person that knows nothing about you…and loves you. Are they brave for exploring the unknown? Are they a genius for surfacing something new? Or are they simply a fool… for leaping in blind. We can never know; until we try. Right?

I had never sat on the thought before, until it rose during our 'honeymoon'. After we were married I spent a vast amount of time with Alfred; and a few questions about him were raised. We didn't travel for our honeymoon. We stayed in the Castle of Spades… everyone else simply left. Matthew went on a trip to the Kingdom of Diamonds with Michelle to visit her father. Yao sailed over the sea to visit his relatives for the first time in years. It seemed the rest of the Castle's inhabitants just disappeared, "why are you leaving? Well…why is everyone leaving this week?" I fidgeted while Yao and Matthew made adjustments to my new royal garments… specially made to fit the Queen of Spades. Blue waistcoat, brown trousers, blue tail jacket and a small top hat… the cherry on top. Yao made a noise of interest as he finished measuring my hips for a belt.

"Ah! Alfred doesn't like to travel out of the kingdom much… in fact I have not seen him leave the castle walls for long time" he turned to Matthew who bit his lip.

"Oh yeah… that IS weird…" I frowned at Matthew's reaction. How strange that Matthew reacted in this way. It was obvious that he knew something of the reason.

"Actually, before you came along Arthur… he was such a lonely child" he tied the ribbon around my neck as he said so. I tore my gaze from Matthew as he noticed my curiosity. His eyes flicked back to the materials he was holding… because they appeared so interesting to him for some inconspicuous reason.

"That is odd indeed. Do either of you perhaps know why?" I mumbled before leering my laser green gaze into Matthew who began to crumble beneath my powerful glare. I have been told I have THE most intimidating scowl in the entire kingdom… not sure whether it is a compliment or not. It never bothered me; anything is better than street rat.

"There was that one time, Matthew? You remember don't you?" Yao winked at Matthew. Then I was certain he was hiding.

"Go on Matt… enlighten me" I crossed my arms and shifted my weight onto one leg. He sighed.

"O-okay… well once when we were young I went outside of the castle to see what it was like. Everyone told me it was a horrid place full of ugly people with warts and diseases who would snatch you up and-" Matthew snapped his mouth closed when he remembered I was from the streets. It's not like I didn't feel slightly offended that people spoke of my kind in that way… but then there was the half of me which cooed, _'it's true! It's true!'_ He blushed and began to blabber like a buffoon, "I am so sorry I didn't mean that"

"Meh. Carry on… we're not going to get to the good bit if you keep interrupting yourself and hesitating now? hmm? Besides it's not like it's a lie hah! I mean look at me" I gestured to myself disdainfully. Not exactly the right moment considering I wore my royal Spade garments.

"um… okay so I left the castle and I was terrified to the core! Man, it was so scary. I was approached by a man and he tried to get me to follow him but I refused and he grabbed me as I screamed out for help… he recognized me as the Prince and he said I would make a pretty ornament around his place," I shivered. It sounded a lot like how Alfred and Matthew's father treated me… an decoration rather than a human, "the creep started dragging me by my wrists as I kicked and screamed," I became increasingly uncomfortable hearing Matthew's story… it was quite similar to my own and it made the hairs on my spine prickle in agitation. I wrapped my arms around my hips protectively as he continued to tell the story, "but then someone batted his hands off of me and ushered me behind their golden clothed knees… they murmured softly _'Are you okay my dear? Did this filth try to hurt you?' _I had no idea who this person was but I would have done anything to get away from the foul man. I hid behind his legs and nodded. _'I see… have you anything to say for yourself? Hmm?' _the man shook his head and spat in my direction… the man who saved me sneered and slapped the creep across the face with such force that he fell onto the ground… it was really scary… as I remember it anyway" Yao had sat down on the edge of my bed at that point and started to listen to Matthew with such intent.

"Go on! You haven't even got up to the part that is best!"

"Yes okay! Well the person who saved me was someone not that much older than myself… he was probably about eleven years of age whereas I was about seven? Yeah. He had long blonde hair and a very feminine kinda face… he took such good care of me… I was so afraid and he was so… kind" Matthew sighed and daydreamed at the ground, his thumbs fumbling slowly preoccupied with a notion, "he wanted to take me back to the castle but I refused to go home, I was adamant to explore more outside the castle. He seemed impressed by this and laughed _'I'll show you something spectacular dear…'_ I remember how he said it with such silk in his voice. He took me on the northeast outskirts of the city just as the sun was setting that day and he pointed out across the horizon, at a silhouette of a city _'that's where I live… it's a long way away but it is very beautiful there…' _he wanted me to come home with him and live with him at his place across the border…you wouldn't believe how much I wanted to follow him…" Matthew paused as he sighed heavily once more and furrowed his eyebrows. I allowed him a moment to wallow in his fond recollections before asking him.

"Why didn't you go with him Matthew" I spoke softly as I rested my face on my hand. He laughed silently.

"I couldn't go with him. Not without my family's permission… I took him to the castle to ask my family permission. But when I did… they all thought I was kidnapped by him and was held hostage… gosh… Alfred was furious. He stormed out to meet me and my golden guest with clenched fists and hot rage. He is such a hot head. You wouldn't believe what he did to my friend when I arrived home" Yao raised his eyebrows.

"Oh yes. That was ever so rude!"

"What?"

"He marched up to him and threw a punch across the boy's face. He started yelling and shouting and flailing limbs at him, as if they had met before…turns out they had met before… not only hours before I met him myself"

"how so?"

"My saviour happened to be the Prince of Diamonds at that time… Alfred had met him when our fathers were in a meeting together regarding the treaty between our two kingdoms. Alfred didn't like Francis, that was his name. Francis Bonnefoy. After Alfred's little outburst at Francis for apparently kidnapping me, Francis' father; the King of Diamonds, came out and was enraged at Alfred's violence towards his son. The two Kings fought over who started the fight between their sons… it was ridiculous. The treaty was broken because my father thought I was kidnapped by Francis… I never saw him again after that… we wrote letters to each other for a while… until Alfred found out. He forbid me from writing to him ever again… I was heart-broken…" he looked up from the floor and back at Yao and myself because we were so quiet, "Oh I'm sorry haha… I went off on my own tangent about my own problems! Forgive me haha!" He blushed.

"Please don't apologise Matthew… I am happy that you could share that with me. I don't understand though… why would you give up on Francis like that if you felt that way? Just because Alfred forbade you speak to him?" Matthew went to speak but Yao cut in.

"If I may Arthur. It's hardly a family issue… it's more a political demonstration of respect between the members of the royal family. To defy your brother would be disrespecting the monarchy…" This drew my inquisitiveness out further.

"I still don't understand. If Matthew wishes to build a friendship with another it is his decision! Not anyone else's! It is his life and he may do as he pleases! No one told Alfred he was not allowed to bring filth of the street into the presence of royalty, did they? No. So why would he do that to stem his brother's happiness? It doesn't make sense!" I was enraged by the lack of concern for emotional benefit in the family now. Was everything run by politics and laws? Could one not be moral without following the law? If it didn't suit them would they just create another law so that it suited their personal needs? Matthew's eyes appeared to dim as they peered up at me; hiding in their sockets anxiously.

"It's just the way the law works… no one can help it"

After more talking with Matthew and Yao I came to the knowledge that Alfred had lost many of the Kingdom's friends over the years due to petty things and grudges he held on to over the years of his childhood. Losing the treaty with the Diamond Kingdom due to abusing Francis Bonnefoy; now the King of Diamonds. Shattering the alliance of the Spades and Clubs by insulting Ivan Braginski; King of Spades. Then mistaking Kiku Honda; Queen of Hearts, for a female and trying to set Yao up with him to sneak his way into the Hearts' monarchy to expand the Spade's kingdom. Alfred was a lonely child because he was socially awkward. Alfred was even on bad terms with the Jokers; Gilbert and Peter, by calling them the devils and chasing them out of the kingdom with a wooden sword. Oh Alfred… that is so like him.

The morning after the ceremony I woke up earlier than Alfred. The rising and falling of his chest beneath my head felt like I was on a ship; sailing across a fabric ocean. I had always wanted to see the ocean… when I was a child I always wanted to be a Pirate more than anything; sail the seas, lawless and free. Alfred's breathing tousled my hair gently like a soft sea breeze, the heat of his skin warming my face like the bright sun. Flickering open my eyes a lenient morning glow flooded in. I remembered where I was. Lifting my head off the bare chest of the King I soaked in the astounding image which presented itself to me.

No artist could create an image as magnificent as what I saw. The glow of morning sun radiated off his broad chest and softening the colours of his body; blurring him like a watercolour painting. Pale blue and white sheets draped themselves lazily across half his chest; covering only half of his rugged abdomen. His hair was flipped over his face. I reached up a hand to brush it aside. Not having used my hands in a while my skin was extremely sensitive when I touched his hair… it felt softer than spider's silk and it tickled my fingertips. His face was so contemplative. Furrowed eyebrows and downturned lips. I wondered what he was dreaming about… if he was dreaming at all. Considering he had lost so many friends he must have been so lonely and troubled only having Matthew, Yao and myself. After talking to Matthew and Yao about his secret aversion to travelling outside the kingdom and his domineering attitude, I was beginning to think about all the other things I didn't know about him… what else was I in the dark about? It hit me like an anvil dropped upon my skull from the highest point of the tallest tower… I didn't really know Alfred K. Jones at all as well as he knew me. I looked at his incredible stature. His chest rising and falling slowly beneath my gaze. It was so meditative… watching him sleep.

So what if I didn't know much about him and his personality… all in good time I thought. It's not as if anything bad would happen between us. I knew deep inside my soul that I would remain faithful to him. My angel in azure. I was ever in his debt for saving my life and giving me the chance to live my life on the other side of the fence… a second chance. I owed him my life. My body acted of its own accord and I pressed my lips against his sharp jaw line as I couldn't reach his lips, "Thankyou Alfred…" his eyes wrenched open, dazed. He inhaled sharply and blinked twice; wincing in the light of the morning. Slithers of blue peeping reluctantly from in between the cracks of his heavy eyelids.

"Mmnngh… wha?" he mumbled dreamily stretching his taut biceps, "Arthhurr~?" I smiled and raised a finger to his lips.

"Shh… go back to sleep Alfred" he looked at me for a moment. Heaven knows what he was thinking in those few seconds.

"Nah…" he groaned and pulled me higher and closer in the bed, so that I was able to nestle in the nook of his neck, "I think… I jus' wanna lay here for a while with you Arthur… until the sun gets higher in the sky and the moon falls deeper into sleep" he began to stroke the back of my head tenderly and nuzzled his face into my hair, "I wanna enjoy this moment… right here…right now" I relaxed into his collarbone and wrapped my limp arms over his chest.

"God… you really are a romantic fool" I felt him smile against my hair.

Days passed like this. Months passed like this. Years passed like this.

They were the best years of my life.

Wang Yao gained a better control over the Spades' economy and the city began to build around the castle from slums to something incredible. The poor were becoming more wealthy. The gap between poor and rich was decreasing and status equality was beginning to be promoted nation-wide. There were no more Sunday executions. There were no more slums. The whole city was glittering.

The Kingdom of Spades was voted the Capital of the entire Cardverse. The King of Hearts was furious about losing this position.

The Kingdom of Spades was voted the most beautiful kingdom of the entire Cardverse. The King of Diamonds was enraged about losing this position.

The Kingdom of Spades was voted the safest and most cultural kingdom of the entire Cardverse. The King of Clubs was rigid with fury about losing both positions.

Matthew would travel for days on end outside the city, exploring other villages and meeting people who could further improve the kingdom and benefit the economy greatly. Matthew was one of the most revered entrepreneurs of the traders and small villages. The Prince of Spades was so loved by all who knew him.

Alfred and I… we spent our days wandering the now safe streets of our kingdom; meeting newcomers and traders who travelled from far across the sea, as Yao once did. We threw festivals to celebrate public holidays and would compete with each other to see who could come up with the most creative way to celebrate with the people of the kingdom… Alfred was very good at throwing festivals; so he would thrash me with his merrymaking skills. In the place of the loser… he would make me become the woman while we danced together. I will definitely not deny that I enjoy dancing with him… because holy mother of god I do. He's a very good dancer. Proper dancing. Not the spinning and twirling bollocks that children do. He can waltz me to high heaven if he so wished.

We would spend the week working on our issues at hand… paperwork and such. Once a week I would visit the local orphanage and play with the children there who are searching for a better life… just like I was when I was a child. Sometimes Matthew and Alfred would come too. The kids love it.

I would assist Alfred when he spends hours standing over the military table, constantly thinking of new ways to prepare for wars… if there ever was one. Which there won't be. There is no reason to start a war against the Capital Kingdom of Spades. He would get so worked up over the plastic troops and ships on the map that he would throw a tantrum and scatter them across the floor whilst yelling obscenities at the innocent figurines, "DAMN YOU! God damn you!" he would scream as I stood shyly in the door frame. He would exhale sharply and collapse into his chair. Taking off his glasses and massaging his nose bridge. I would quietly breeze into the room and rest my hands on his shoulders.

"Hey…" I would whisper and start massaging his tight neck muscles, "let it go Al… we're okay" and I would repeat the same phrase again and again. It seemed to soothe him, "we're okay." Then I would kiss him on the head and he would tilt his head backwards to look me in the eyes. He'd sigh and run the back of his hand softly over my cheeks. Then I'd kiss him again, "we're okay…"

Days passed like this. Months passed like this. Years passed like this.

They were the best years of my life.

Until one day… we received a letter.

Matthew had been gone for well over two weeks at this point and Alfred was getting agitated. He began to pace in his office each night as he waited for his brother to walk in and embrace him, "where is he… he's never gone this long…" he mumbled as he paced around his military table.

"Al he's probably taken a trip over the sea…" I stood in the door way watching him circle the room for the millionth time. Wearing out the soles of his shoes. I stepped into the room bravely.

"Nonono… he's never been gone THIS long before-" he stopped abruptly and turned to face me, "what if something's wrong? What if he's in trouble?" fear shot through his deep blue eyes.

"Please calm down… Matthew is a grown man and he-" there was a knock at the door. We both spun around. Yao extended his arm… at the end of it there was a letter.

"What is that?" Alfred murmured.

"Read it. It's addressed to you" Alfred stepped forward and tore open the envelope unfolding the manuscript furiously.

As he read further into the fancy scrawl on the paper the atmosphere in the room morphed ominously.

Once he finished reading there was a beat of silence when the letter slipped out of his grasp and fluttered mockingly onto the floor. Alfred swayed a little before shooting out a hand to balance himself on the edge of his military desk, "Alfred… what is it…" a series of knots appeared in my stomach as I saw his back ripple through his blue coat.

"This…" he trailed off into a whisper.

"What?" He spun around and stormed out of the room.

"This. Is. War…" he ground his teeth together and slammed the door behind him as he left.

Yao and I rushed over the paper and hurriedly read the scrawl.

_**Dear Alfred K. Jones… King of Spades**_

_**I have your brother here with me. Matthew Jones; Prince of Spades.**_

_**If you ever wish to see him again… you must submit to the United Kingdoms of Clartmond.**_

_**Or else… wallow in your guilt knowing your brother is suffering and willingly accept a rebellion choice.**_

_**Yours Sincerely **_

_**The United Kingdoms of Clartmond.**_

_**- Kingdom of Diamonds**_

_**-Kingdom of Clubs**_

_**-Kingdom of Hearts **_

"Bollocks."

* * *

_Quotes: Albert Einstein, C.S Lewis and Unknown._

Clartmond is the mixed names of **CL**ubs, he**ART**s and dia**MOND**s


	4. Spades - Part 4

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 1 – _Spades:_**

_**-Part 4-**_

I am a good person.

I know I am a good person.

So why is it that I attract all things bad… constantly.

Is there a reason for my continuous bad luck and intense misfortune? Perhaps I did something wrong and terrible in my past life and this is how I pay. I mean… let's be honest… what could be any worse than a molested, homosexual, emotionally unstable, abused, weak street rat born of rape? I was a mistake from the beginning. Once a mistake always a mistake.

But I am a good person.

I know I am a good person.

So why is it that I attract all things bad.

_**Dear Alfred K. Jones… King of Spades**_

_**I have your brother here with me. Matthew Jones; Prince of Spades.**_

_**If you ever wish to see him again… you must submit to the United Kingdoms of Clartmond.**_

_**Or else… wallow in your guilt knowing your brother is suffering and willingly accept a rebellion status. Your choice.**_

_**Yours Sincerely **_

_**The United Kingdoms of Clartmond.**_

_**- Kingdom of Diamonds**_

_**-Kingdom of Clubs**_

_**-Kingdom of Hearts **_

The Kingdoms of Cardverse had created an alliance without our knowledge and had made their own coalition group… Clartmond. The United Kingdoms of Clartmond. But why? Why would anyone wish to harm Matthew? Of all people to make suffer… little Mattie. He did not deserve to be treated in that way. Not in the slightest. I could understand why Alfred was so furious. But this was no reason to start a war. Wars are for things such a genocide and murder and severe mistreatment of a certain group. Not because someone refuses to play nicely… after being provoked at that. I had given it some thought as to why someone would steal Matthew away from Alfred and myself, and came to a conclusion.

The Kingdom of Spades grew immensely powerful and economically great for a city without any treaties or alliances set in place to ensure the security of other kingdoms. Realistically it stole away the titles of the other Kingdoms of Clubs, Diamonds and Hearts; reducing them to simply normal cities. Spades had become so great that the others had lost their identity. But surely… this can't be the only factor.

Since Alfred received the letter of his brothers kidnapping it has been harder for him to keep his 'cool'. Some nights he wouldn't sleep at all… some nights he didn't even try to sleep. He spent more and more time inside his office to the point where he would spend whole days locked away without communication to the rest of the world. He wouldn't go outside the castle walls... the number of festivals and celebrations decreased rapidly. I didn't see him that often… only when we woke up in the morning and when we went to sleep at night. I daren't ask him how his day was… the last time I asked... he slipped into bed silently, "oh Alfred. Didn't see you come in, how was your day?" I whispered and turned to face his bare back. I reached out to touch him. He jerked his shoulder away violently. I swallowed a small lump.

"Fine," he mumbled, "I'd prefer…" he began, "if you didn't ask me any more questions… I'm tired" he muttered stingily, "night."

He had never been so rude to me before. I felt an old emotion… it appeared as an old friend to me. Dejection. There was much to look forward to in the following weeks too. Each morning I woke up to a pile of empty sheets and each night I would fall asleep behind a cold shoulder. The months that came were very solitary, lonely days… filled with hollow words and phantom kisses. Occasionally I would go for a walk through the halls of the castle and intentionally take the route by Alfred's office and walk slower as I passed. Sometimes… I would hear him crying. On his own. I would stop and rest my head against the locked door. Now and again; I would start crying too. It hurts me to know he is suffering so greatly. Then I realised… this is how it felt when I was despairing.

**He collapsed into his knees and crawled over to my limp body draped over the mattress. Alfred buried his blue eyes into my scarred chest and covered me in a thousand blue tears. Mumbling words of comfort and soothing phrases. **

If only he would allow me to comfort him as he once did for me. If only he would allow it. I would shower him in all the love I could give. I would give him my life if it would heal his hurting heart. One day I heard him crying inside his office again. So I gathered my courage and turned the door handle… which was surprisingly left unlocked. The door creaked open slowly.

It had been months since I entered his office.

Chairs were upturned. Shredded paper scattered the floor along with various decoration which once hung on the walls. Paintings were torn open. I turned my neck and was shocked with what I saw. Red twine was pulled taut and covered all four walls in a web-like state. Pictures and articles fluttered on the edge of the walls like black and white butterflies, constricted by the red web. Red. The whole room appeared to be red. That ghastly colour. I clenched my stomach with a hand. I stepped into the room. I looked down. I had stepped on a shattered photo frame… depicting Alfred and Matthew. Something flew dangerously close to my face. Glass shattered on the closed door beside my head. My eyes widened.

"How dare you enter the King's office without knocking!" Alfred snarled as his hand recoiled from throwing the glass of water at me. He was aiming… for me. He was actually aiming for ME. His face had become foreign to me. The dark patches circling his incredible blue eyes pierced my soul with the burning hatred, "how DARE you!" He walked towards me and grabbed me by the elbow. I whimpered quietly in trauma. Alfred was not wearing his glasses… he couldn't see properly without his glasses. Is grip on my elbow increased and I attempted to peel off his large hand.

"Agh!" I tried to peel his fingers off one by one but they wouldn't budge an inch. His grip was like an iron vice… only getting tighter. It began to sting. My knees buckled under the intense pain.

"Are you sorry?" he whispered softly against my ear. My lip began to tremble slightly and my personal river began to flow once more. I nodded. He let go of my arm and I collapsed to the floor. Cool tiles welcoming my wet cheeks with their cool icy caress. I sobbed silently into the floor as my arm continued to sting. Why was this happening? Was Alfred really in that much pain that he felt he needed to outwardly express it? Upon other people. Upon me. His foot nudged my back, "get up" he muttered hoarsely. I tried pushing myself up off the floor on my own but I just tumbled against the ground again. I held the bottom of Alfred's ankle and pulled myself up onto one knee. At least he would allow me to use him to pull myself onto my feet. At least that much kindness was still left inside of him…, hanging on above his agony. He kneed me in the chest as I fell onto the floor. Again. He kneed me? I don't understand. I held my chest in anguish. My breathing became distorted and shaky… my chest ached in more than physical pain. It ached in heartbreak. My heart was cracking… slowly but most definitely, "get up. On your own" he exasperatedly growled. I couldn't move. It hurt too much. The red twine surrounding the room trickled down the walls and swathed slyly around the edges of my body… little hands reaching out to ensnare me. I looked up at Alfred. He stood over me. Far above me. He sneered, "pathetic" he reached down and clutched me by my collar. Like a dog. Like a street rat. He forced me to stand on my feet. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't stand on mown two feet. They trembled and shook uncontrollably submitting to the force of gravity. Alfred held me by my collar… choking me. I gasped and looked desperately into his eyes. I searched and searched deep in his blue eyes to find the emotions I had locked away there for safe keeping. There it was. I found the happiness from our wedding day. He stood there… smiling at me so proudly. The violins playing far off in the horizon of my memory. The peppermint dusting my lips. I smiled fondly back at him.

A loud cracking sound echoed across his office. One half of my face collided with the mixture of shredded paper and broken glass scattered over the floor. The other half burned fiercely. I laid on the ground stunned. In silence. Alfred panted heavily and rubbed the back of his left hand. His wedding ring bore small fragments of flesh. I had ceased my tears. A cool anaesthetized wave washed over me… like the ocean. I brought my uninjured arm sluggishly up to my right cheek. It stung as I touched it lightly with a finger. Pulling away I saw the colour. Red. It was faint. But it was still red. My arm went limp and I slumped onto the floor.

"Arthur!" it was Yao. I heard him exclaim from the door. He rushed over to me and gasped when he turned me on my back… bearing my injury. He turned his head to Alfred who was still rubbing the back of his hand, "Alfred Kirkland Jones!" Yao screeched as he rose from his knees. Never before had I heard Yao as angry as he was now, "this is no way to treat your Queen! Have you no dignity! No pride!" Yao pinched Alfred's ear as he did when he was a child. Alfred winced, "you are disgusting… after all Arthur has been through… and you still treat him like filth!?" Alfred tore away from Yao's grasp. By now most of the Castle's work force had gathered outside the open office door to see what was going on. Alfred straightened his jacket nonchalantly.

"I would appreciate… if the Jack of Spades kept his nose out of the King and Queen's business" Yao growled.

"Come Arthur. Let's get you cleaned up… it is unseeingly to have the Queen in this state" he knelt next to me and pulled me onto my feet.

"Leave him there Yao" Alfred ordered, "he looks better there. It's where he belongs" My chest throbbed at his words. I gasped for air to ease the pain. His reply took the form of a dagger in the chest. Yao continued to drag me out of the room, completely ignoring the King's orders, "did you not hear my order Jack? I said LEAVE. HIM!"

"No" Yao replied simply. Alfred raised his eyebrows. No one ever defied his orders, "I will not" Alfred did no more to stop him.

"You will be punished for your actions Yao!" He snarled as Yao left the room, heaving me onto this back. He turned his head to the King and gestured bowing.

"So be it." Yao was so brave that day. I was truly touched at the bottom of my shattered heart. He had said himself before…

"**If I may Arthur. It's hardly a family issue… it's more a political demonstration of respect between the members of the royal family. To defy your brother would be disrespecting the monarchy…"**

Yao defied Alfred's orders… twice and talked back to him.

He ran me a bath in his quarters of the castle and dressed my wounds as I sat in the warm ginseng scented water, "ginseng is a well revered remedy for all types of sickness and injury where I came from… it will heal you bruises and cuts quickly and nicely" he dabbed the solution on my cheek.

"Thank you…I really do appreciate it" I stared at the steam rising from the water blankly. All of my thoughts and imagination had been beaten out of my skull earlier, "you didn't need to step in…" Yao dabbed my cheek a little harder, "ouch!"

"No one should be treated like that. Especially not YOU" he wrung out the cotton pad and prepared a dressing, "Alfred is acting like an insolent fool. He needs to be told how to behave properly… I wouldn't be surprised if your beating is all over the newspaper by tomorrow morning…" he covered my cut and grazing with a white cloth.

"You're going to be sent to jail for a very long time for what you did though… " Yao shrugged.

"For a darn good cause."

Yao was sent to the kingdom jail for eight years. Five for defying the King's orders twice. Three for Talking back. I watched Yao leave from my bedroom window that morning… I watched him turn back and smile at me from the barred carriage, "Yao…" I whispered to myself, "I think I love you more than the rest of them…" I watched the carriage leave. Disappear into the thick fog, "give me a piece of your courage Yao…"

The night after Yao left an announcement was made at the dinner large dinner table. Alfred stood from his seat and raised a glass to the members of his court, "people of the court! I have an announcement to make!" All heads turned to him. I figured I could hear him just fine with my head turned to my plate, "tomorrow… we head for battle!" I coughed on my mouthful. What did he just say? Did I hear him correctly? Battle? As in WAR? That cannot be, "the Spades' army marches against the grand battalion of Clartmond… we will stand strong and remain victorious! I will lead the army head first into the battle… the Kingdom of Spades WILL glow as glory shall emanate from our kingdom!"

I sat on my bed that night, twiddling my thumbs and letting my mind run riot. Usually I was not a religious person… but I prayed alright. I prayed harder than any priest or pope ever prayed before, "dear god allow my husband… the King to exit the battle field unharmed and victorious… please let him live… please let Matthew come home so we can stop this futile fighting… please lord please… end his suffering-"

"Praying for your King I see…" a voice floated ominously from the doorway behind me. I squeezed my eyes closed as the footsteps behind me grew louder, "what a good Queen you are…" I could feel his laser gaze inspecting my blue silk pyjamas, "indeed…" he ran a hand through the back of my hair. I bit my lip. My stomach wrenched painfully, "I like your night clothes… very patriotic… I like that" he chuckled. I clenched my hands tighter into a praying position. As if I knew exactly what he would say next, "take them off…" I froze. No. I never thought it would come to this. Never in my entire life did I think Alfred would be reduced to this lever of inferiority, "…or will I have to do it for you?" I buried my head into the mattress… to hid my paling complexion. The memories. They came again. So many of them. They were identical. Becoming impatient… Alfred grabbed the back of my hair and pulled me onto the floor in front of his feet.

Then he did it. He did the unthinkable.

He unsheathed his sword. And raised it above his head.

Just. Like. His. Father.

He leered down at me, "A product of rape. A mistake… you owe me your life rat. If it weren't for me you would be rotting in the gutter along with your mother… and Yao" I choked. My numbness shattered. Like glass…I stared up at the King of Spades. Alfred K. Jones. My husband. A stranger.

He said…

"_and you will submit under MY power…"_


	5. Spades - Part 5

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 1 – **_**Spades:**_

_**-Part 5-**_

He broke me.

The strings which he pulled to control me like a puppet…he cut them.

He let me fall.

He let me plunge into the deepest most darkest despair…

Drowning me in my own blue hue; my personal river.

He locked away the love… all the joy in his twisted heart… and melted the key.

I could no longer access the false bliss gifted to me by the devil… it was a trick. A trap. I could no longer imagine the world of delight, that world full of happiness. That I had never known.

He broke me… and yet, I love him. I will continue to love him until the day I die. Beside him or alone. Yet I did not wish for death to come upon me. There were far too many beautiful things in the world to sacrifice for Alfred's sick sadism.

The smell of freshly baked bread, wafting through my bedroom window on the days of the Market. The taste of wine and fruits which spattered with colourful flavours. The smiles on the children's faces when I visit the orphanage… it brings them such joy to know someone who genuinely cares for them. The laughter and song spilling out from taverns and festivals late at night. The sunrise wringing soft yellow and pink hues over the sky. The peaceful complexion of Alfred deeply sleeping at night… his softer features illuminated by the moons ethereal glow.

I shouldn't love this monster. I just shouldn't. No one who acts this way should be treated with kindness. Something who morphs into a stranger when they awaken in the morning… I should not love him. But I do. I refused to leave him.

If I left him… I was a dead man. I simply could not revert to living on the streets; feeding off the scraps left out in the trash like a stray dog. Like a rat.

But the only thing keeping me inside the Kingdom of Spades was my love for him… and the beauty this city emanates. So I stayed.

When Alfred left to fight in the "Battle for Spades" as some called it. Most called it "The Great War of Clartmond". I was still lying in the same position he left me that morning… the colour red etched into my chest above my heart. A Spade. He carved it into my skin after I refused to… do something. He carved it into my skin after he wrapped his gentle hands around my throat and made me beg for mercy… after he threatened to cut my throat if I made any audible sound. After he… he…made me do something I will always regret. If only he could see all the tears shredding my face. He was making love to a corpse. If only he could see I was already dead. He needn't hurt me anymore… there wasn't a point… there was no end to my suffering. It was like walking through a minefield that never ended. Every step I took set off another burst of pain. That was my life definition in a nutshell.

He mumbled something as he left our chambers that morning. I had not slept. I was paralyzed with agony, "I'm going to get Matthew. See you when we win" he planted one kiss on my bandaged cheek… and one on my new tattoo, "pray for your King" he said as he turned his back and left. I made no advance to move from the spot where he left me. I was there for a few hours weltering in my desolation… before a butler came to clean our room and noticed me. He asked if I was okay and in need of any assistance. I turned sideways and gave him a slightly mordant glance. OF COURSE I NEEDED ASSISSTANCE YOU IDIOT, I thought.

As he cleaned me up and helped me re-dress myself he started asking questions… for example, "how is the Queen and his husband? I read about a ruckus in the paper recently… " Yao was right. It had been in the paper the very day after it happened.

"I appreciate your concern " I held his hand in mine kindly as he finished helping me clean up, "but this is not something neither you nor I can help…" he nodded sadly. He stole the words out of my mouth

"That's the law…I know your majesty… I'm sorry for prying sire" he pulled her hand away and bowed. He looked at me up and down before opening his mouth again, "forgive me if I speak out of turn sire… but do you enjoy reading your majesty?" I raised an eyebrow as this surprised me. In fact I had not read a proper book in such a long time… I had been so preoccupied with Alfred and the Kingdom I had forgotten to appease my own hobbies.

"Why, yes… why do you ask?" he nodded.

"Pardon me your majesty… if you will… I heard you hadn't visited the royal library sire!" I rolled my eyes.

"Of course I have-"

"Pardon again your majesty sir! But not in the restricted section…" he winked, "if you will follow me your eminence" so I followed the teen to the library as he wished. Indeed there was a secret doorway hidden in one of the book cases… it was to be expected, let's be honest. It's a big creepy castle with hundreds of unused rooms and sinuous corridors… there was bound to be a secret pathway hidden somewhere. It's far too clichéd.

I won't go too into detail about what happened next… it isn't too important in the scheme of things as they are. There was a basement beneath the castle the whole time I had lived there and long before. The Queen of Spades twice before me had it built without anyone's knowledge for her own private use. The butler that escorted me there… his father; The Jack of Spades… Yao, introduced the last Queen to its existence and his father before him and so on. Call him a tutor if you will. There were so many secrets in this monarchy that it really did demonstrate how corrupt the politics were of the monarchy this whole Kingdom was built upon. So many secrets. He explained that his name was Wang Jia Long; son of Wang Yao. After all the years I had not known about Leon; his English nickname, and his relation to Yao. In Yao's absence he was given the job of introducing the Queen's _real _trade of the Kingdom. The Queen of Spades was always known for his/her impeccable use of magic. Yes, magic. Somehow I came to believe in it… something inside of me told me that I shouldn't doubt such things. I had been told of magic when I was a child. Leon showed me the books I needed to read to be able to access this power.

The first time I cast a spell… it was a simple spell to send luck to whoever the user held in their mind. But it was exhilarating. The feeling of power surging through my veins like electricity it awakened me to the delectable tangibility of life… which had been numbed along with my other emotions.

I spent days on end in the basement drawing spell circles, learning hexes and summoning various things; like fairies and spirits. A week and a half had passed since I realised I was tucked away for so long. Leon had been my only contact to the world beyond my books and invocations. He came down one day in such a hurry that he nearly tripped and fell to his death down the stairs, "Arthur! Arthur!" he called, stumbling and catching himself in the doorway.

"Mm yes?" I was so engrossed in my notation that I didn't see the fear in his eyes.

"It's Alfred…" I looked up from my book at the wall in front of me. I took a deep breath… remembering the last time I saw him. I shuddered a little. For the first time… I felt… scared. I was scared of the man I loved. A certain tension in my chest where he carved the Spade above my heart told me to refrain.

"What about him" I mumbled dimly.

"He's here… in the Castle! Looking for you!" I winced. He was looking for me, "he's not in good shape either… only half of the soldiers have come back alive… and that doesn't count the injured" Leon grimaced, "It appears to be a pretty intense war" I held my chest. He said Alfred was injured. But so am I. I have been injured for a long time before… and he gets a small graze on his knee and expects me to come running to comfort him. I frowned at this notion. Then… such a plan formed in my head, "Arthur-"

"Does he know where I am?" Leon shook his head, "will anyone tell him where I am?" he shook again.

"No. Only if you want us to your majesty" I exhaled and squeezed my eyes closed.

"Tell him…" I hesitated. But it was now or never, "tell him I was injured" Leon frowned. My breathing hitched. I was not a liar… but it was for my own good. Leon and Yao were right all along; I don't deserve to be raped and beaten just because it makes him feel better, "tell him I was BADLY injured… that I have gone far away to find a cure…"

"A-Arthur…"

"Please Leon… I can't bear it any longer" he wavered for a moment before bowing.

"As you wish sire"

"Oh… and say it was a…self-preservation sort of thing…" he nodded and left.

I am not a liar. Spending time on my own had really enlightened me to how it felt when I was with Alfred. What I liked and what I didn't like. What was right and what was…wrong. If he wanted to offload his personal conflicts onto an innocent bystander… I would not allow it; not any more.

I could hear him calling my name. His voice was so hoarse and gravelly… as if it had been rubbed with sandpaper. It wasn't an angry calling. He sounded as if her were crying. Yes. Alfred was crying out my name in between sobs, "Arthur! Arthur! Where are you!? I know you're here somewhere!" the sound was distant. Along with the sound of running footsteps; they sounded to me like rain on a tin roof, "Arthur!" his calls were getting fainter and more desperate, "please! You can't just leave me like this… you can't be gone! YOU CAN'T!"

"Please your majesty… you are injured and very ill. I insist you go and rest!" Leon's voice could be heard comforting the despairing King.

"No… I know he's still here… right?"

"No sire. He's gone… the state he was in when I found him was terminal…he's gone. I'm sorry"

Leon was such a convincing actor I thought as I brushed tears from my eyes. He was starting to convince me that I was gone too. I sniffed the tears away and blinked repeatedly. I had to keep thinking. It was for my own good. This is what I wanted… wasn't it? Giving Alfred a taste of his own medicine.

I wondered how badly he was injured. He was usually pretty stoic about hurting…that's why he cried by himself. Alone. I wondered what it was like out on the front line of battle… I probably should have gone there myself. It was part of my job to assist the troops in battle. So what. He could deal with it himself. Estimating a week after that day, Leon brought breakfast down to the basement for me on a silver tray. I sat on the floor drawing enchantments onto the walls of the basement with chalk I had found earlier, "good morning Arthur!" he smiled as I turned to look at him through my reading glasses. I looked down over the lenses.

"Good morning Leon! How goes it? Put the breakfast over there on the chair… there's no room on the desk" I returned to my scribbles on the walls. Leon set the tray down and unfolded the newspaper under his arm.

"Do you mind if I read this?" he gestured to me. I nodded absent-mindedly.

"So what are you doing exactly Arthur… I thought you had learnt all the basic spells and stuff ages ago?" he opened to the page sporting the world news to keep up on his home country.

"Yes… but I found that most of them had been modified to reduce the amount of power used… because there were children around I think… the diary on the table said something about a safety lock on the spells. Removing visibility of the magic for health reasons. I think it is bollocks. So I'm simply making a few adjustments so that we can benefit from the magic in its full form…" Leon turned to the front page, "without the magic in its full form one can only gain about 45% of the initial outcome… which is silly really. Say if I were to use this healing spell here with a safety lock I would only be able to heal a bruise… if it was on full power I could close a gash quite easily. Perhaps when I'm finished here I will go to the hospital and heal a few soldiers who need it… what do you say?...Leon? Leon?" he didn't reply. I put down my chalk and turned around to see his face riveted in the newspaper, "what interesting article are you so captivated in?" I rose from the ground and dusted off my brown trousers.

"It says here the Spades jail was exploited by soldiers from the opposing side and all its inhabitants were recruited onto the Army of Clartmond…" I ran my finger through my hair.

"Christ… Yao was in that jail. Your father… now he is on the other side"

"They say there were a few stragglers who escaped… perhaps Yao made it out?"

"I need to go check-" I began to walk up the stairs but Leon leapt out in front of me before I could place a foot down.

"No! Everyone thinks you have gone far away! They all think you are terminally ill… I am so sorry… but you can't. Not now" I looked up at the door. It seemed so distant. But this was the choice I made. The lie I created to save myself, "just until the war is over…"

"Fine…"

I had completely lost track of time in my basement practising magic. I was very skilled though if I do say so myself. I began to practise conjuring animals and figments of my imagination… I made a dog, several birds and a flying rabbit… genuinely for my enjoyment. I also learnt how to create false images… so I created the ocean. It was beautiful… even though it was just an image. On many occasions… when Leon was out… I recreated Alfred. How he was before Matthew was gone. Before the war. I didn't do anything with him… most of the time I just wanted him to sit on the steps as I continued working. He was such a distraction though. Soft blonde hair falling in front of his eyes as he read… amazing blue eyes. I found some peace in the colour blue. The sound of running water; fresh water from a river, not urine from a drunkard stumbling out onto the street at midnight. A strange serenity… that resurfaced from long ago. When I was a child. I couldn't cry. Not for him… not after all he did to me. I couldn't.

"Arthur… do you know how long you've been down here?" Leon raised an eyebrow as he looked at the newspaper date.

"No… you know I don't know" I sighed as I looked for a free space on the walls to draw a new spell circle. I couldn't find any room at all, "bollocks…" I muttered to myself in aggravation. The walls were absolutely covered in white scrawl.

"nearly three months… that's a really long time"

"Well you know I can't help it Leon… it is how I must pay for my decision to hide from the world" I scratched my neck. I didn't want to start drawing on the floor that's for sure.

At that moment something rumbled under my feet. A low growl could be heard in the distance. I frowned," did you hear that?" Leon looked up at me.

"No… what?" it happened again.

"There it was! Did you feel it too?" they started becoming more frequent.

"Yes! What on earth?"

Suddenly the whole room shuddered around them and the walls began to tremble, "Arthur!" from within the dust and unstable earth I heard a familiar voice call my name. I clutched the table to gain a steady stance.

"What's going on!?" Leon yelled as the bricks in the wall began to crumble.

"Arthur!" It was then I realised whose voice it was. The door began to rattle as someone wildly shook it open. Halfway up the stairs the sudden burst of light paralyzed me.

"Ah!" I covered my eyes as a silhouette came into view.

"Arthur! Jia Long!" Yao gripped the door as the earth continued to shake underneath the screams.

"Yao!" something swelled deep in my chest. I was so glad to see him alive and well. He wore foreign attire. It appeared to be the three colours of Clartmond, "I can't tell you how glad I am to see you!"

"As am I! Thought you were extremely ill! But there is no time! The kingdom is under attack! Spades' front line has broken! The Castle is under siege! Alfred is in trouble!" I looked back to Leon.

"If the enemies side thinks you are ill they wouldn't expect you to appear! You should be fine to go… go! Go now!" Leon pushed me out of the doorway and I stumbled into the library. Bookshelves were falling like stone pillars. I sprinted for the exit yelling back over my shoulder. Books fell like bombs above my head.

"Where is he! Where is Alfred!?"

"The last I saw of him he was below the castle steps! Defending the gate!"

I sprinted. The chilled wind tearing at my pale skin from sun deprivation and fragility. I am Arthur. Born on the streets, live on the streets die on the streets. Just as any old scum would right. Any old scum like me. Even from my birth as an unlikely product of rape; which from the start had condemned me from the bulk of society, has caused love to be repelled from my very being. I refused to lose the one I truly loved because of his foolishness influenced by the vulgarity of war. I owe him my life. It's about time I showed how much I truly cared.

"Agh! Damn you! Get back!" I could hear him growling just over the horizon, "I swear to god I will end you!" Gunshots splattered the atmosphere.

I could hardly contain my excitement! Alfred was alive! I could see his head bobbing just so far away. I ran towards him.

"ALFRED! ALFRED!" I yelled. He turned momentarily. I saw his bloodied face adorned with cuts, bruises and mud. He looked stunned.

"ARTHUR!?"

"YES! IT'S ME!"

I found some peace in the colour blue. The sound of running water; fresh water from a river, not urine from a drunkard stumbling out onto the street at midnight. Crisp clean water fresh from the mountains; as I have heard that is where it comes from. There is some strange serenity in the colour blue. I peered down at the royal that day as I was dashing down the stairs to my one and only love. I caught the eye of the King. The troublesome one with eyes as blue as his robes. There is some strange serenity in his eyes… something which melted the frost around my deadened heart. Then they came. The tears flowed like the river I longed for. I was stunned. The water was trickling from my eyes and warming my white skin. There was blue everywhere.

I tasted the peppermint on my lips. I felt the fireworks explode, "ALFRE-"

A loud cracking sound echoed across the square.

It resonated in the sudden emptiness of Alfred's stare.

It dripped through my waistcoat and trousers. Like wine. The thick red liquid oozed all over my hands. Staining my skin, seeping into every available line and contour of my palms. Red. The colour red. That colour I had come to fear so greatly I would become immensely alarmed at the very sight. It trickled over my white shirt, consuming all pristine fabric in its path.

Alfred screamed. His lips ghosted my name. No words came out.

The world around me blurred. The colour began to fade.

"We got the Queen!" a soldier hollered far off… it seemed.

I felt warmth surround me like water. It submerged me with a soothing caress. It was calming to me and I felt myself floating loosely.

All I remember is that Alfred was sprinting towards me… limping toward me with his strong arms extended towards me, "Arthur!" his scream became a whisper.

_My world faded into white… and **blue.**_


	6. Spades - Part 6

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 1 – **_**Spades:**_

_**-Part 6-**_

I cradled you in my arms until you fell asleep.

I held your subsiding frame against my chest until you heart stopped beating.

Your heart… like a little bird strangled by the frost; clinging for life at any cost. It fluttered frailly beneath your old scars and your new ones. Seeping that colour you so despised. The colour I brought upon you knowingly. God damn it how could I… why did I?

Could you have heard me when I cried your name… as the bullet ripped through your body; spattering the ghastly hue over the castle steps. The castle steps where I first met you… my sweetheart. My Queen.

Back then… when we were children, it was a common thing to watch an execution. Actually it was more a weekly activity to go along with your family and watch the lawless lose their heads. We would step out on our balcony above the ruckus of the streets and watch the action from above; I always felt so powerful standing above everyone who was thought to be foul.

That crisp Sunday morning remains so freshly preserved in my mind; I can still smell the roasting chestnuts in the air, which they sold to bystanders and viewers of the event. I can recreate the image of the muddy snow clawing at the criminal's cheeks and filthy toes. I can still hear the jeering and the yelling and the laughter… the laughter of children and adults alike. I can still remember watching the criminals waiting in line behind one another. I peered down the line to watch the vagabond who apparently had assaulted a brothel… step into the looped rope. And fall. His neck snapped beneath gravity's crushing grasp. He dangled like a lifeless puppet for a few seconds… before the building crowed hollered. Fists and hats flew up in elation. It was… it was utterly…

Repulsive.

Is this what we all really are? Bloodthirsty creatures lusting for death and gore. Making merry as the blood of our kind stains our hands a deeper and deeper shade of red. Not like the colour of Arthur... He wouldn't jeer or yell. He would never call out in delight as a life was taken. He shuffled in between the filth and remained unfazed. But that was the most repulsive. It sickened me to the core of my very soul. He was USED to it. He was numb. But I couldn't complain. The people are happy… I thought.

But when he was called for the rope. I found some peace in the colour green. The sound of a forest rustling; caressing against a gentle breeze, not like rats fumbling for food outside in the trash on the street at midnight. Crisp green flora fresh from the mountains; as I have heard that is where forests grow in masses. There is some strange serenity in the colour green. I peered down at the criminals that day as he was ushered up the stairs to an unfair judgement… in the form of a looped…rope. I caught the eye of the boy. The only one I saw. The silent one with eyes as green as his clothes. There is some strange serenity in his eyes… something which dowsed the fire around my violent heart.

Then they came. The spark roared like the winds in the trees I longed for. I was stunned. The magic was exploding from my heart. I turned to Matthew who was shielding his eyes with his Kumajirou. A present from or mother and father. I frowned at him with something else in my heart… a feeling which I am now very… very well acquainted with: Sorrow. The man dressed in black who put the rope around his neck tightened it. It constricted him. I started yelling. Yelling at my parents and leaning over the balcony at the audience. This was not right!? He was so small! So fragile! SO GOD DAMN INNOCENT!

"STOP!" I screamed for the last time as I drew my dagger from my sheath and raised it to the sky. The audience turned to me and knelt. Raising a blade was the only way to gain order when you are a royal. When you raised a blade, those surrounding are drawn to you like a moth to a candle… I abolished that rule… for him. And yet still I broke it… All was silent. I whispered something to the King who was already furious, "let him go father! I will take care of him as you take care of mother! I promise!"

"Do you now the ruckus you have created Alfred!? Over one filthy rat?"

"He is no rat to me father. Let him free!" The King sighed at the persistence of my efforts, "he shall be MY responsibility" he finally nodded and I scrambled off down the stairs. The King raised his hand to the man in black.

Warmth tingled in my tiny hands. The looped rope was defeated, I shredded it to pieces to free my emerald angel. I held his hand. I smiled at him. Turning to the audience of flabbergasted fools I raised my hand in his, "I free this boy, for he is innocent!" I frowned on the crowd, "I pity all those who condemned him, abused him and showed no mercy to him! For Beelzebub has a devil put aside for them… wallow in your guilt and self-pity… for after this day none shall be shown unto you!" I sneered and spat into the mud. Lowered our hands. Holding my hand; which grew warmer by the second, I escorted him off the guillotine stage and through the crowd of onlookers who shared sneers of disgust and frowns of seething hatred, "what's your name kid?" I threw a smile over my shoulder. He stammered before answering.

"Arthur… my name's Arthur"

Arthur. The beauty of its composition sounded so blissful slipping past my lips. It always did. Arthur. The splendour and magnificence of his person defined in a two syllabled, two voweled, four consonanted, Iambic word. Arthur. The name meaning strong as a bear. My god he was far stronger than God himself. Arthur… my Arthur…

He took the bullet meant for me.

He had just begun to call my name as he rushed down the steps towards me. Taking long strides as if he had actually missed me… for all that I had brought upon him in the previous months… I was a brute. A fiend. And still those incredible green eyes drew tears of joy for me. Yes… Arthur was far stronger than any soldier, than any bear. Without him I had realised what I had done. Consumed by power and greed; just as my father was, I submitted to my own selfish desires… that weren't even my own. I was blinded to the beauty of simplicity. I was so engrossed in my own success that I could not even feel mercy for the man who loyally stayed beside me until… until death do us part… that phrase haunted me.

I would defy death to be with you my love. Death could never take you away from me! The memory of your eyes, your laugh, your smile, your lips, your hair, your faith, your loyalty, your bravery, your love would live on fresh in memory forever as if you were lying here beside me.

I remember how I would leave before you woke. I now understand what it feels like to awake to a pile of empty sheets. To fall asleep behind a space of empty affection… phantom kisses.

If I had one chance. Just one to relive the days of my selfishness… I would give it all for you. I would catch the bullet from inside my OWN heart… instead of yours holding it for me.

A loud cracking sound echoed through the square. That moment.

It resonated through the hole in your heart.

My own heart stopped. All I knew was your name.

"ARTHUR!"

It dripped through your waistcoat and trousers. Like wine. The thick red liquid oozed all over your hands. Staining your skin, seeping into every available line and contour of your palms. Red. The colour red. That colour you had come to fear so greatly you would become immensely alarmed at the very sight. It trickled over your white shirt, consuming all pristine fabric in its path.

Your emerald eyes became hazy… and rolled back into your head. As you fell.

My own leg injury I had gained in the war refrained me from sprinting up the steps to catch your body as it plunged towards the concrete. I tossed myself down beside you as the war around us ceased. The gunshots were silent. The screams were empty. All I knew was the faint smile which crept across your face as I cradled you in my arms… and wept your name over and over again, "Arthur… Arthur please look at me!" your eyes were dimming. I held my hand in yours just as when we first met, "I pity all those who condemned him, abused him and showed no mercy to him! For Beelzebub has a devil put aside for them… wallow in your guilt and self-pity… for after this day none shall be shown unto you!" I screamed at the soldiers faces of Clartmond who stood around us. Tears burnt my face like acid. The King of Diamonds covered his eyes in distress. I lowered your hand over your wounded heart… above the tattoo I unknowingly gave to you. The pain I made you suffer.

You mumbled something inaudible as red dyed your lips. That ghastly colour… , "I love you Arthur… I always loved you" you stopped mumbling. Your head rocked back into my chest.

Your eyes were dead.

You were gone.

I buried my face in your chest and covered you in a thousand blue tears. Tears do not revive those who are gone.

All the suffering you endured. For this. For nothing.

"Enlevez vos garçons chapeaux…" the King of Diamonds whispered, removing his own and lowering his head. The King of hearts also did so.

"Nehmen Sie Ihre Hüte Jungen ... es gibt keine Helden unter uns…"

"Take off your hats boys… there are no heroes among us… only a dead one" The Queen of Clubs bowed her head in shame.

Francis. Ludwig. Elizibeta. The three leaders of Clartmond. The ones who took Matthew away. The ones who remain no more guilty as I. Arthur was dead before the bullet.

"I will shelter you my love… until you are deeply asleep in my arms" I pressed my chapped lips against his forehead. I left them there and squeezed my eyes closed.

"Wànsuì hēi… táo huánghòu!" Yao cried between sobs. Leon translated for his father.

"Long live the Queen of Spades!" He yelled.

"Long live the Queen of Spades!" each and every soldier called. Those on Clartmond and those on Spades.

"Let's end this foolishness… we have caused enough suffering as it is" Francis turned to his companions, "it was a bad idea from the start… let him rest in peace…" he turned to his soldiers, "Quelqu'un l'amener à l'hôpital maintenant! (Someone get him to a hospital now!)"

"I'll do it." I mumbled. As I clutched your cold, red body to mine. Your arms and legs dangled like a broken dolls, "just let me stay with him…"

I cradled you in my arms until you fell asleep.

I held your subsiding frame against my chest until you heart stopped beating.

Your heart… like a little bird strangled by the frost; clinging for life at any cost. It fluttered frailly beneath your old scars and your new ones. Seeping that colour you so despised. The colour I brought upon you knowingly. God damn it how could I… why did I?

* * *

Alfred dropped the pen onto the desk and wiped away the tear drop that fell onto the page, "God damn! Now the ink will run…" he attempted furiously to wipe it away. He exhaled. Flipping through the thick book… full of scrawl written by Arthur's hand, "one year…" he sighed. Flipping to the first page of the diary.

_**DIARY of**_

_**Arthur Jones Kirkland**_

**Queen of Spades**

Alfred ran a finger over the ink bearing his name. Arthur. Turning the page he began to read.

**I am not a Queen.**

**Despite what the whole kingdom says about me.**

**I am not a Queen.**

**Despite what the whole world says about me.**

**I am not a Queen.**

**Despite what Alfred says about me.**

**I am not a god damn Queen.**

"You're not just any Queen… you're my Queen…" Alfred smiled as tears prickled the edges of his eyes, "if only I could rewind time… if only I could undo all I did to you… if only I could wipe your tears and cease your suffering…DAMN YOU! God damn you…" he exhaled sharply. Took off his glasses and massaged his nose bridge. His tears fogging his vision.

"Hey…" a voice whispered. With a velvety tone. A warmth rested itself upon his shoulders; like a feather, "let it go Al… we're okay" soft lips pressed themselves against the top of his head, "we're okay" he tilted his head back. Arthur smiled down at him like an angel. His emerald eyes glittering in the soft morning glow. Alfred sighed and ran the back of his hand softly over Arthur's cheeks. Arthur pressed his lips against Alfred's. A gentle taste of peppermint danced between them.

Alfred smiled against Arthur's embrace.

"_We're okay…"_

_The End._


End file.
